How To Be A Villain by Neil Zawacki

For all you wanna be Evil-Doers out there, this book is a must read. Neil Zawacki ‘s How To Be A Villain helps you discover and develop your inner talent of being malicious, power-hungry, and/or insane. His book starts off with a simple test to answer what those voices inside your head have been asking, “Am I Evil?” including questions such as:

How do you start your morning?
A. Rise at six, shower while humming chipper tune
B. Perform vigorous knee bends and enjoy bracing five-mile jog
C. Hit the snooze alarm until hopelessly late for work
D. Sip a cup of coffee, read the newspaper, plot the downfall of civilization

What did you want to be when you grew up?
A. Police Officer
B. Doctor
C. Ballerina
D. Supreme dark overlord of all mankind, or a lawyer

Once you have determined if you possess the qualities to be a villain, you are ready to begin your journey down the destructive path of darkness with Zawacki’s book to help guide you along the way. He covers how to determine your underlying evil motives (greed, revenge, insanity or evil by nature), the importance of evil branding (evil name, slogan, jingle, logo, etc.), developing your evil laugh, choosing your sinister lair, deciding on your method of mayhem, how to select your henchmen, thwarting the forces of good, and the right fashion for your particular bedlam. But it does not end there my disturbing friends, also included is The Evil Plan Generator. This simple fill-in the blank form will assist you in constructing your own diabolical plan to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting world.

Once you have successfully become a Villain, I highly recommend Zawacki’s second book, The Villain’s Guide to Better Living, for better evil home design, evil health, evil work, evil social life, and evil travel.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!!